Recent Articles

  • Man Employs World's Most Powerful AI To Write Email Saying "Approved"
  • Bipartisan UFO Push: Dems & RINOs Agree To Disclose Secrets So They Can Tax The Aliens' Fair Share
  • Mortal Kombat II Streaming Version Replaces All Fatalities With Affirming Hugs Following Mandatory Conflict Resolution Modules
  • Ghostbusters Reboot Requires Environmental Impact Permit Before Each Ghost Trapping, Delaying Climax By 40 Minutes
  • Pence Demands Return To Principled Conservatism: The One That Got Us Obamacare, Open Borders, and $35 Trillion in Debt
  • White House UFC Fight Night To Feature Jill Biden VS Kamala Harris For Ultimate Showdown
  • AARO UFO Alien-Hybrid DNA Search Stalls After Sample Tests Positive For Gavin Newsom
  • Local Youth Flag Football League Smashing Success, Zero Participation Trophies Awarded, Community Somehow Survives
  • Smart Sprinkler Keeps A Running Tally Of How Many Neighbors Have Mentioned The Lawn
  • Think Tank Report: Success, Strength, and Peace Identified as 'Far-Right Extremist Threats' to Democratic Brand
  • Man Who Bit ICE Agents Files Complaint Alleging ICE Failed To Provide Hannibal Lecter Mask
  • Robot Vacuum Awards Itself A Performance Bonus After Cleaning The Same Room Twice
  • Wellness App Awards User Badge For 847 Consecutive Days Of Chronic Stress
  • Paxton Crushes Cornyn: Establishment GOP Senators Now Hiding in Bathroom Stalls Practicing Their 'I Was Always MAGA' Speeches
  • Trump Says Iran Negotiating on Fumes: Liberal Media Expert Warns of Dangerous Spontaneous Patriotism Outbreak
  • Man's New Light Bulb Will Not Turn On Until He Agrees To Terms Of Service
  • Dad Creates ' Chorecoin' Cryptocurrency To Pay Kids For Cleaning Their Rooms, Immediately Crashes
  • A24's Backrooms Film Requires Audiences To Find The Theater By Wandering Unmarked Beige Corridors With No Exits
  • Man Whose Biological Age Dropped 12 Years Now Legally Attempting To Re-Enroll In Middle School
  • “The Arch is the Portal!”: LA Locals Launch Cosmic Arch Order After Mistaking Masters of the Universe Drone Show for Alien Rapture
  • Colbert Final Show Airs After Heroic Battle Against Both Ratings and Comedy
  • Iran Announces Strait Of Hormuz Toll Booths Will Accept E-ZPass, Cash, Or Enriched Uranium
  • Bank's Crack Fraud Team Sends 14 Alerts for 'Suspicious' $12.47 Chipotle Purchase, Completely Ignores $8,000 Bali Vacation Charged to Card
  • No More Lattes, Kids! – Billionaire Demands, As Tuition Hits Lamborghini Prices for Gender Studies Degree
  • Parent Group Chat Demands Answers After One Mom Says She Is Simply Not Bringing Snacks
  • Newsom's Office Responds To $20 Billion Debt Criticism With $2 Million Awareness Campaign About The Debt
  • Parenting Group Chat Demands 14-Item Themed Snack List For Tuesday's Soccer Practice At 6:00 AM
  • Man's Fitness Tracker Now Visibly Disappointed In Him
  • Mechanic Charges Diagnostic Fee To Determine If Diagnostic Fee Was Necessary
  • Cuba Responds To Rubio's Outreach By Formally Requesting The Sanctions Back