Recent Articles

  • Bill Clinton Begs Democrats To Stop Calling Voters 'Deplorable Garbage' Until At Least After The Midterms
  • CNN Hires Ghost Hunters To Locate Its Viewers
  • Newsom Unveils Plan To Lower Gas Prices By Banning Gas
  • Toddler Rejects Chicken Nugget For Being The Wrong Dinosaur
  • Kara Swisher Warns Trump Will Jail His Critics, Explains Which Of Hers Should Go First
  • Dad Places The Good Scissors In Witness Protection After Someone Used Them On Cardboard
  • Newsom Hires 40 Staffers Whose Only Job Is Gently Talking Kamala Harris Out Of Running
  • NFL Security Memo Rates Riot-Torn Paris 'Significantly Safer' Than Chicago
  • Tim Walz Warns $30,000 Fraud Reward Could Create Dangerous Incentive For Minnesota Officials To Start Paying Attention
  • CNN Threatens Lawsuit Unless It Is Allowed Back On Air Force One With Man It Says Is An Existential Threat To Democracy
  • MS NOW Books 40 Therapy Dogs For Election Night In Case Democrats Lose Even One Race
  • New York Times Warns Men That Dressing Like A Grown-Up Now Makes Them Look MAGA
  • 10 Terrifying Halloween Props Guaranteed To Keep Liberals Off Your Porch
  • Mom Celebrates Finally Getting House Clean By Banning Family From Going Inside
  • TV Executives Hold Candlelight Vigil After Learning World Series Will Be Rays Vs. Brewers
  • Larry Krasner Horrified To Learn Federal Prosecutors Still Prosecute People
  • Journalists Who Spent Years Demanding Billionaires Give Back Horrified Billionaire Is Giving Back
  • Michelle Lujan Grisham Rejects 'New America' Name, Says New Mexico Identifies As Mexico
  • Cute: California Election Officials Dress Up As People Who Can Count Votes On Election Night
  • Schumer Asks FCC To Protect Democrats' Exclusive Right To Spam Your Phone
  • Man Furious Over $300 Grocery Bill Votes Early For Candidate Promising More DEI Coordinators
  • Raúl Castro Dodges Florida Arrest Warrant By Moving To Mamdani's New York, Says It Feels Just Like Home
  • 60 Minutes' Lesley Stahl Asks Why Stop Noncitizen Voting When It Only Happens A Little
  • Man's Sunday Scaries Now Start Friday At 5:01 PM, Doctors Say Monday Has Fully Spread Into His Weekend
  • CNN Assures Viewers France Is Only Experiencing 'Scuffles' As Correspondent Reports Live In Front Of Burning Town Hall
  • EU Officials Praise France For Importing A Fresh New Perspective On French History, Mainly That It's Flammable
  • French Government Reassures Citizens That Diversity Is Still Their Strength As The Strength Sets Fire To A Fourth Town Hall
  • Mom Threatens To Turn This Car Around 300 Miles Into Disney Trip, Actually Does It
  • El-Sayed Unveils Plan To Nationalize Detroit Auto Industry, Promises Every Family One Beige Car By 2041
  • Socialist Senate Candidate El-Sayed Nationalizes 8-Year-Old's Lemonade Stand, Hands Her A Tax Bill