Recent Articles

  • Local Youth Flag Football League Smashing Success, Zero Participation Trophies Awarded, Community Somehow Survives
  • Smart Sprinkler Keeps A Running Tally Of How Many Neighbors Have Mentioned The Lawn
  • Think Tank Report: Success, Strength, and Peace Identified as 'Far-Right Extremist Threats' to Democratic Brand
  • Man Who Bit ICE Agents Files Complaint Alleging ICE Failed To Provide Hannibal Lecter Mask
  • Robot Vacuum Awards Itself A Performance Bonus After Cleaning The Same Room Twice
  • Wellness App Awards User Badge For 847 Consecutive Days Of Chronic Stress
  • Paxton Crushes Cornyn: Establishment GOP Senators Now Hiding in Bathroom Stalls Practicing Their 'I Was Always MAGA' Speeches
  • Trump Says Iran Negotiating on Fumes: Liberal Media Expert Warns of Dangerous Spontaneous Patriotism Outbreak
  • Man's New Light Bulb Will Not Turn On Until He Agrees To Terms Of Service
  • Dad Creates ' Chorecoin' Cryptocurrency To Pay Kids For Cleaning Their Rooms, Immediately Crashes
  • A24's Backrooms Film Requires Audiences To Find The Theater By Wandering Unmarked Beige Corridors With No Exits
  • Man Whose Biological Age Dropped 12 Years Now Legally Attempting To Re-Enroll In Middle School
  • “The Arch is the Portal!”: LA Locals Launch Cosmic Arch Order After Mistaking Masters of the Universe Drone Show for Alien Rapture
  • Colbert Final Show Airs After Heroic Battle Against Both Ratings and Comedy
  • Iran Announces Strait Of Hormuz Toll Booths Will Accept E-ZPass, Cash, Or Enriched Uranium
  • Bank's Crack Fraud Team Sends 14 Alerts for 'Suspicious' $12.47 Chipotle Purchase, Completely Ignores $8,000 Bali Vacation Charged to Card
  • No More Lattes, Kids! – Billionaire Demands, As Tuition Hits Lamborghini Prices for Gender Studies Degree
  • Parent Group Chat Demands Answers After One Mom Says She Is Simply Not Bringing Snacks
  • Newsom's Office Responds To $20 Billion Debt Criticism With $2 Million Awareness Campaign About The Debt
  • Parenting Group Chat Demands 14-Item Themed Snack List For Tuesday's Soccer Practice At 6:00 AM
  • Man's Fitness Tracker Now Visibly Disappointed In Him
  • Mechanic Charges Diagnostic Fee To Determine If Diagnostic Fee Was Necessary
  • Cuba Responds To Rubio's Outreach By Formally Requesting The Sanctions Back
  • Man Who Called To Dispute $48,000 Bill Receives Bill For The Call
  • Trump Texts Ayatollah: 'Hey, I Just Bombed You, and This Is Crazy, But Here's My Number... So Call Me Maybe?
  • Man consults Doctor ChatGPT, Which Tells Him He's Fine And Schedules A Follow-Up With Itself
  • Weather App Recommends Grilling As Simi Valley Wildfire Enters Third Hour
  • Cuba’s 300 Attack Drones Are Ready to Strike America — As Soon As the Power Comes Back On HAVANA
  • Local Men Celebrate The Team Win with a Double Water
  • Iran Asks If The Obama Deal Is Still On The Table, Reports The Regime Would Like New Pallet of Cash