Recent Articles

  • CBS Declares Navy SEAL Quit Bell A Historic Victory For Women
  • House Democrats Vow To Ban Stock Trading Starting Next Week, Then Stampede Out Of Classified Briefing To Call Their Brokers
  • House Democrats Unveil Bold New Generation Of Leaders Who Ask Reporters Not To Look Too Closely At Their Mustaches
  • AOC Demands We Get Money Out Of Politics From Atop Scrooge McDuck Vault Of $38 Million In Campaign Cash
  • Abdul El-Sayed Nationalizes His Own Victory Party, Guests Wait Six Hours In Line For Shrimp Ration
  • Iowa Governor-Elect Rob Sand Celebrates Win By Carving Corn Maze Of His Own Face, Gets Lost In His Own Ear For Three Days
  • Every House Democrat Sure They Single-Handedly Won The Majority, Victory Speech Now Being Delivered By Entire Caucus Into One Microphone
  • Former Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms Wins Georgia, Routes Entire State Through Hartsfield-Jackson, Georgians Now Need Boarding Pass To Enter Macon
  • Texas Governor-Elect Gina Hinojosa Starts Victory Lap Around State On Foot, Hitchhikes Home From Fort Stockton In Cattle Truck
  • Whitmer Locks Down Michigan Polls Over Alarming Spike In Republicans, Will Reopen At 2 AM For Essential Ballots Only
  • Harvard Students Occupy Polling Place, Demand It Divest From Voting
  • Seattle City Council Abolishes Line At Polling Place As Inequitable, Everyone Now Votes At Once In A Large Pile
  • Joe Biden Shows Up To Vote, Proudly Casts Ballot For Himself In 1972 Senate Race
  • Barbra Streisand Clones Her Dog 4,000 More Times To Knock On Doors For House Democrats
  • Hochul Taxes Every Wing At Buffalo Sports Bar During Bills Game, By The Fourth Quarter The Bar Has Moved To Florida
  • Angie Nixon Floats To Cuba On Flamingo Pool Toy To See If It's A Dictatorship, Passes Raft Full Of Cubans Paddling The Other Way
  • Iowa Democrat Sets Out To Find Southern Border With Sled Dogs, Pith Helmet And DNC Map Marked 'Here Be Dragons'
  • Democrats' $4 Million Anti-AI Ad Accidentally Stars Grandma Who Is Clearly Six Toasters In A Cardigan
  • Brandon Johnson Campaign Defends Photocopied Petition Signatures As Proof Chicagoans Love Him So Much They Signed Twice
  • Democratic Operatives Who Combed Alaska For Every Man Named Dan Sullivan Insist They Were Just Planning A Big Family Reunion
  • Kamala Harris Urges Georgians To Vote On Tuesday, A Day Unburdened By The Monday That Has Been
  • Gen Z Man Six Hours Into DMV Wait Says This Is Exactly Why Government Should Run Everything
  • Snopes Rates Neighbor Kid's Spider-Man Costume 'Mostly False'
  • Vegan Whose House Got Egged Unsure Whether To Be Angrier About The House Or The Eggs
  • Newsom Excited For Halloween, Already Has A Different Face Ready For Every House
  • Mamdani Fines Brooklyn Man For Handing Out Full-Size Candy Bars, Calls It Flaunting Wealth In Front Of Children
  • Democrats' Midterm Blue Wave Was Going To Be Huge Until They Taxed It Down To A Ripple
  • California High-Speed Rail CEO Resigns After Audit Finds $593,000 In Travel, None Of It By Train
  • Alaska Senate Forum Descends Into Chaos After Moderator Asks Real Dan Sullivan To Please Stand Up
  • Democrats Warn Federal Election Monitors May Intimidate Voters By Watching