Recent Articles

  • Republican Wins By 2 After Trailing By 14, Pollsters Call It 'Well Within Our Margin Of Error, Which Is 16'
  • Dad Reads Car Manual For Four Hours To Set Dashboard Clock Back One Hour
  • ABC News Gets Restraining Order Requiring Facts To Stay 500 Feet From Newsroom
  • Animal Control Called After Fact Found Loose In MS NOW Newsroom
  • Democrats Propose Tilting Earth To End Daylight Saving, Need $5 By Midnight
  • Ten Failed Election Themes, Including 'Ask Your Doctor If Democracy Is Right For You'
  • Democrats Propose Lowering First-Time Homebuyer Age To 4, Toddler Signs 30-Year Mortgage In Crayon
  • Jeffries Pre-Orders Speaker's Gavel, Selects Free Returns Option Just In Case
  • El-Sayed Clarifies He Graduated Top Of His Class At Playskool Medical School
  • Kamala Strikes Out Swinging Against The View's Batting Tee
  • Medicaid Fraud Raid Ends With Agents Waiting For 40 Progressives' Moms To Pick Them Up
  • Dad Confident He Can Still Beat GPS If Son Just Holds It Till Ohio
  • MS NOW's Stephanie Ruhle Suggests French Rioters Aren't A Law-And-Order Problem, Just 'Devastated' By The Wealth Gap
  • No Kings Protesters Celebrate Another Successful March With Dinner At Burger King
  • Bill Clinton Begs Democrats To Stop Calling Voters 'Deplorable Garbage' Until At Least After The Midterms
  • CNN Hires Ghost Hunters To Locate Its Viewers
  • Newsom Unveils Plan To Lower Gas Prices By Banning Gas
  • Toddler Rejects Chicken Nugget For Being The Wrong Dinosaur
  • Kara Swisher Warns Trump Will Jail His Critics, Explains Which Of Hers Should Go First
  • Dad Places The Good Scissors In Witness Protection After Someone Used Them On Cardboard
  • Newsom Hires 40 Staffers Whose Only Job Is Gently Talking Kamala Harris Out Of Running
  • NFL Security Memo Rates Riot-Torn Paris 'Significantly Safer' Than Chicago
  • Tim Walz Warns $30,000 Fraud Reward Could Create Dangerous Incentive For Minnesota Officials To Start Paying Attention
  • CNN Threatens Lawsuit Unless It Is Allowed Back On Air Force One With Man It Says Is An Existential Threat To Democracy
  • MS NOW Books 40 Therapy Dogs For Election Night In Case Democrats Lose Even One Race
  • New York Times Warns Men That Dressing Like A Grown-Up Now Makes Them Look MAGA
  • 10 Terrifying Halloween Props Guaranteed To Keep Liberals Off Your Porch
  • Mom Celebrates Finally Getting House Clean By Banning Family From Going Inside
  • TV Executives Hold Candlelight Vigil After Learning World Series Will Be Rays Vs. Brewers
  • Larry Krasner Horrified To Learn Federal Prosecutors Still Prosecute People